Dealing with the scary issues in our lives, well, it's just that....scary! I can attest that there have been many instances in my life where I would rather ignore major issues, struggles, worries, and fears for fear that it will not be pretty. Let's be honest, dealing with serious issues and wounds cause our hearts to race, forcing our minds to remember, in turn having the pain resurface. It was painful once, why feel it again? Personally, when I had to deal with the abuse I experienced as a child, it was just plain bad. It was messy, physically, mentally and emotionally...not just for me but for those around me. There were a lot of tears...I call them "cleansing" tears.
Many women have stuffed their emotions so far down that they can't remember exactly what, just that it was extremely painful. It's been 10, 15, 30 years and still the abandonment, abuse, neglect has not been dealt with by many of us. Because feeling it would make us remember and remembering would be bad. But, really? Would it really be bad in the long term? It definitely will be ugly initially, but it will ease some, every time you deal with the pain. The longer you stuff these feelings down, the longer you don't deal with what has happened, the longer your heart and life will take to heal. The consequences of not dealing with the pain manifest itself in other areas of our lives. For some it may be overeating, for others it's drugs, shopping, sleeping, men, sex, a feeling of always having to say "I'm Sorry." These things become familiar and almost act as a big warm, comfy comforter. To remove these things from our lives is like an amputation. We'd be lost without them. But in reality, it's really time to let go. In order to laugh with abandon, to walk free, to run and love, you have to deal with those memories and pain, and let go! Will it hurt? Definitely. Will I cry? Yes. Will the anger and rage resurface? Sure. Will I get better? Oh, yeah! Will it hurt forever? Nope. Will I always remember? Yes, but the pain won't be as bad. You are still here. You have survived. You are stronger and wiser. You can do this. I know you can.
Dealing with my issues, it doesn't hurt as much anymore. As a matter of fact, after 33 years, I have finally forgiven. Does that mean the person is off the hook? No, God will deal with that. But for me, it was liberating. I can laugh freely and not be afraid anymore. I can talk about it and it doesn't make me nauseous or crazy. I can speak about it with strength, knowing that God has healed my heart and mind. Knowing that He has set me free from those things that had me so bound up. It was only God...without Him I would still be that confused, insecure, fearful person. And I can't thank Him enough.
Many women have stuffed their emotions so far down that they can't remember exactly what, just that it was extremely painful. It's been 10, 15, 30 years and still the abandonment, abuse, neglect has not been dealt with by many of us. Because feeling it would make us remember and remembering would be bad. But, really? Would it really be bad in the long term? It definitely will be ugly initially, but it will ease some, every time you deal with the pain. The longer you stuff these feelings down, the longer you don't deal with what has happened, the longer your heart and life will take to heal. The consequences of not dealing with the pain manifest itself in other areas of our lives. For some it may be overeating, for others it's drugs, shopping, sleeping, men, sex, a feeling of always having to say "I'm Sorry." These things become familiar and almost act as a big warm, comfy comforter. To remove these things from our lives is like an amputation. We'd be lost without them. But in reality, it's really time to let go. In order to laugh with abandon, to walk free, to run and love, you have to deal with those memories and pain, and let go! Will it hurt? Definitely. Will I cry? Yes. Will the anger and rage resurface? Sure. Will I get better? Oh, yeah! Will it hurt forever? Nope. Will I always remember? Yes, but the pain won't be as bad. You are still here. You have survived. You are stronger and wiser. You can do this. I know you can.
Dealing with my issues, it doesn't hurt as much anymore. As a matter of fact, after 33 years, I have finally forgiven. Does that mean the person is off the hook? No, God will deal with that. But for me, it was liberating. I can laugh freely and not be afraid anymore. I can talk about it and it doesn't make me nauseous or crazy. I can speak about it with strength, knowing that God has healed my heart and mind. Knowing that He has set me free from those things that had me so bound up. It was only God...without Him I would still be that confused, insecure, fearful person. And I can't thank Him enough.
your blogs are truly inspirational...i somehow just stumbled across it while browsing today and I am so glad I did...thank you for sharing and may God continue to bless you :)
ReplyDeleteI am so glad that you have been touched...that is why I do what I do...Many blessings to you!
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