Ruth Nieves

Last night I thought I was going to have an anxiety attack. I am not even kidding a little bit. I have never had one before but I have known people who have described the experience of one and I think I was on the verge of one. There have been so many changes in the last few months, year. All natural, nothing crazy. I am one that loves change. I crave it. I look for it. I totally don't mind it. But lately it's beginning to affect me in not such a cool way. Sort of like last night. I knew exactly what brought this on. I was not unaware of the reasons for the heart palpitations and the feeling of wanting to stop the world while I caught my breath...you know, till I was able to process what was happening. But that was not the case. I had to pray through it and relax....trust. Not only are the changes occurring on my head (read previous blog...grays) but also in the lives of my family. First it was Joey last week. Can you believe he is starting middle school in the fall? Well, I a

My conversation with God went something like this.. "You know, God, this whole aging thing is not cool! I really don't like it and I especially hate the gray hair and the little lines coming up around the eyes. And other gravity realities...." This whole not-liking-the-aging-thing started when I found my first gray hair. I yanked that sucker out. And I as I winced in pain and from the one half-opened eye I see this silver, shining looking strand of what I know is my hair. I could not believe it. It was actually happening. I was, I was really getting OLLLLDDDDDDD....waahhhhh!!! This was not supposed to happen to me. When did this all begin to happen. I guess in the middle of planting a church, having children, moving from city and state, having more children and having the dailiness of life it all crept up on me. I was supposed to be prepared for this. I always said that I would age "gracefully". I would do the natural look...all gray. No hair dyes. But that