Ruth Nieves

Okay, so the Christmas season is like here already and I am so ready. Well, sort of. I am totally in the Christmas spirit and have been since before Thanksgiving, so much so that Josiah is practically in tears whenever he sees me turn to the Hallmark Channel. "No more Christmas movies, mommy, pleeeaaasse!!!" I love everything about the season. The lights, the tinsel, the trees, the songs. It almost seems as if the world is a little nicer... or is it me that is being a little nicer? Hey, it can happen, it is the season of miracles, right? I love to see the innocence that I see in my children, expectancy. Their list for Santa. Yes, I still encourage imagination and dreaming. They know that Santa is a pretend figure but they like to pretend and I encourage it. We are planning on having a simpler Christmas this year. I hate when in years past, I am more exhausted than excited about Christmas Day. We aren't rushing around looking for the perfect gift. We are simply enjoying

No, I haven't grown up in the country. I actually grew up in Brooklyn, New York. Born in San Juan, Puerto Rico, but grew up in the greatest city on this earth...New York! Maybe because of the hustle and bustle and the taking of the buses and trains every single day, the constant going that as I grew older I wanted to retreat to a quieter, slower pace. I live not too far from NYC right now. So I do have the perks of Broadway, Rockefeller Center, amazing restaurants, Lincoln Center, Metropolitan Museum of Art, and the list is endless. I absolutely love it! But when I have had quite enough of all the fabulousness, I love to go home to my little house on the prairie in the beautiful Hudson Valley. I live in between horse farms overlooking amazing mountains and lakes. My little house is just that, little. But it is the right place for this season. With the boys growing up we will need a bigger place before long. So pray that the right home becomes available soon. But for now our 160

We are already at the end of September. Can you believe that?! I am in the dining room as the boys sleep and hubby is at the church watching the Giants game with the guys and I am listening in the quietness the ticking of the clock. When you think about it every tick is a second gone by. It can make you a little anxious when you know the laundry has to get done, and the week has already begun and you aren't quite ready. Listening to the ticking and the tocking makes me think of a couple of things. One, that I want to spend more time loving on my husband and boys. I want to spend more time with my parents and siblings. I don't want to waste a second being mad or frustrated. I don't want to harbor anger and resentment. I don't want to hang on to past hurts. I have one life to live and I want to live it free from toxins and poisons that can rob me of my peace and joy. Secondly, the ticking reminds me of the Lord's return. It is getting closer. I am not a scholar and

Enjoying life right now. Choosing not to dwell on all the negative and bad stuff from yesterday and beyond. Choosing to saturate myself in the love of my husband and sons, in the love of my family and friends and in the love of my heavenly Father. I can't change yesterday. But I can change me so that today and tomorrow my response would be different. I know that bad days will come. Storms will brew and the "suddenlies" of life will happen, but I pray that when those days come, though I will not be ready for them, I pray that I will handle them with grace and hope. I hope that today, despite your crazy life, you will remember all that God has done for you, all that He has brought you through, all that He has given you. Tomorrow isn't promised but you have now, so relish in it, love in it, dance in it, laugh with abandon in it. I hope that you will join me in loving today!

Last night I thought I was going to have an anxiety attack. I am not even kidding a little bit. I have never had one before but I have known people who have described the experience of one and I think I was on the verge of one. There have been so many changes in the last few months, year. All natural, nothing crazy. I am one that loves change. I crave it. I look for it. I totally don't mind it. But lately it's beginning to affect me in not such a cool way. Sort of like last night. I knew exactly what brought this on. I was not unaware of the reasons for the heart palpitations and the feeling of wanting to stop the world while I caught my breath...you know, till I was able to process what was happening. But that was not the case. I had to pray through it and relax....trust. Not only are the changes occurring on my head (read previous blog...grays) but also in the lives of my family. First it was Joey last week. Can you believe he is starting middle school in the fall? Well, I a

My conversation with God went something like this.. "You know, God, this whole aging thing is not cool! I really don't like it and I especially hate the gray hair and the little lines coming up around the eyes. And other gravity realities...." This whole not-liking-the-aging-thing started when I found my first gray hair. I yanked that sucker out. And I as I winced in pain and from the one half-opened eye I see this silver, shining looking strand of what I know is my hair. I could not believe it. It was actually happening. I was, I was really getting OLLLLDDDDDDD....waahhhhh!!! This was not supposed to happen to me. When did this all begin to happen. I guess in the middle of planting a church, having children, moving from city and state, having more children and having the dailiness of life it all crept up on me. I was supposed to be prepared for this. I always said that I would age "gracefully". I would do the natural look...all gray. No hair dyes. But that

There are days that I just feel, blah! Just. Plain....BLAH! Today isn't one of those days but not too long ago that was a totally different story. These blah days can last for weeks and sometimes longer. It goes something like this... I feel fat. I feel ugly, puffy and round. Don't get me wrong, I know I'm not hideous but I think as women we all feel a little of these things every once in a while. But wait, I'm not finished. I feel stupid and like a terrible mom and wife. I get really down on myself and feel like everyone else thinks these things too. Does this sound remotely familiar at all? Joe doesn't know exactly what to do with me when I am so nutty and screwy. He tries to "get it" but I can see by the look in his eyes that he is REALLY confused.  I can just see him now looking at the calendar to see if "Aunt Freida" is coming for a "visit." Just to let you all know that we don't have an Aunt Freida and I don't know many

What I wouldn't do for a day on some exotic beach somewhere. Ahhh, to lay on a hammock, drinking some exotic drink (non-alcoholic, of course), underneath a palm tree, with a balmy breeze lulling me to sleep....sweet surrender! Smelling the sweet, salty air. I'll even settle for Myrtle Beach these days. As long as it's warm, beachy and they're selling exotic drinks. Hey, I'd be happy. Some of you may be old enough to remember those Calgon commercials...where the woman is having a crazy day with the kids, her husband, work, and the house...and after everything has culminated a storm, she yells out, "Calgon, take me away!" Hoping that this soak in the tub would make it all better. Well, the beach would be my Calgon. Except that I have an incredible husband who helps me tons and two boys who are amazing kids. No, I am not living on Mars. This is my real life. But it does get super nutty and there are days that seem like they are not about to end. There is t

Lately I have read, received texts, gotten calls from friends, family and colleagues who are in this very hour experiencing one of the toughest battles of their lives. Not too long ago I also experienced physical pain, mental and emotional turmoil. It wrecked havoc on my body like I never experienced before. Sounds like Midol would be in order, but it wasn't that type of pain or turmoil. I couldn't understand where it was coming from or how I got to that point. Waking up drenched in a cold sweat, not sleeping, worrying and fearsome. Totally not  like me at all. Especially with the whole sleeping thing (just ask Joe and he will tell you just how much I love my sleep!). Then I would get up in the morning and do it all over again, sick and exhausted. Right now, someone very close to me is experiencing this very same thing. The tests are all coming back negative. Sonograms and blood work. Doctor's are not sure why she is having so much pain. Why she can't sleep. Why she is

I did a mini survey of Pastor's Wives and Women in Ministry and of the oddest, funniest, coolest gifts they had ever gotten. There is a reason behind the madness. I start laughing at the thought of the gifts that people give ministry families. I asked myself this question as I was putting away a food basket that had been given to us by a church as I had to throw out most of the food items because some of them had been dated as old as I was. One in particular can of string beans, if that's what they still were, was dated 1972. 1972??? Really??? I was shocked and then I started to laugh taking note of the person who had given us the item so that we would avoid dinner dates at their home...LOL!! In our short years of ministry I've received self help books on how to avoid conflict in my life, how to become spiritually mature, what not to wear, and how to pray as a Pastor's wife, Weight Watchers cook books, tips on how to clean and maintain a home and the list goes on. But I

I am so easily distracted...I could be doing the dishes and if I think of something I will leave the water running to attend to something else...and so it goes. I'm looking around my house today and I can tell that my focus has been on so many other things...the dust bunnies aren't dust bunnies anymore...they look more like those huge tumbleweeds you see in cowboy movies. Yesterday after church, I cuddled next to my hot husband and started to whimper...yes, whimper, because I felt so bad that the house was such a mess. And his response was, "Right now the house looks perfect, cause I'm looking straight ahead." LOL...he was watching the Knicks play. That guys cracks me up. So today I am cleaning and scrubbing on hands and knees making sure everything is in order for the week. When things are not in order, even I am not at peace or happy. But that's another blog. To be easily distracted and not focused leads to unbalanced and crazy lives. I experience it all th

Sometimes I feel as if my life is a whirlwind. As a pastor's wife my life and ministry are one. They are intertwined. Some say this isn't a good idea but it is who we are...so yes, my mind is always thinking about this person or that person, or when will our next Girls' Night Out will be, and so on. I am home with a sick little boy today and I'm thinking about the office and the laundry that seems to morph into something monsterous. The dishes in the sink, the beds that need to be made, the projects that are due at the school, homework, sports, kids registration, greeters, worship, my husband, Transformation Groups ---- get the picture? I guess I'm not much different than many of the women all across this country, but most days I feel like that song they used to sing back in the 80's for that candy bar --- "Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don't." Except that I feel like a nut most of the time. Exhaustion can settle in faster than anyt

What an amazing day yesterday was...I was pumped all day! Couldn't wait to get to Transformation and start loving on people. That's how we roll here...LOL. From honoring our Transformer Volunteers, to seeing hundreds of people walk through our door...many if not all burdened (but leaving Transformed). I love being the wife of this passionate pastor who loves his people, and the world, who loves his family and his calling. But last night, of course after such an amazing day, I get news that is not so cool. And my heart starts getting real ugly. My disposition, countenance changes and my family can tell I'm tense and upset. I go to bed this way and get up this way too...not good! So now I'm up way before everyone is up and the hustle and bustle begins. I sit to pray and read something that will challenge me and "slap" me out of this attitude. And so this is what I open up to...Ephesians 5:15-20....we'll focus on verse 20..."always giving thanks to God

The thing about new seasons is that they are exciting and well, new. Some seasons are good...but many others are challenging, and down right hard. Yet, I know that in every season God has a plan. Though I can honestly say, that I have no clue as to what He doing in my life or why, half the time...I know that He loves me. There have been seasons where I was on the verge of losing my mind...you know, those seasons where you are right on the edge of reality and wishing you were (mentally, physically, emotionally) not in the moment. When we lost our son, Seth, I was on that edge. I didn't want to feel anything. I wanted to be transported to another planet just so I couldn't feel the pain of our loss. Yet, one day, before the funeral, I find myself so full of rage and pain that I had no way of releasing it except by breaking every piece of glass in my path. Somehow I ended on the floor and I kicked and screamed, my dad and my husband held me down and all I could do was scream and cr

I have so much to say and it's all jumbled in my head. Don't you hate when that happens? Often times, my mouth goes before my thoughts and then I get in big trouble. But tonight as I sit here and write I have so much to say and yet I can't seem to put it to "paper." This year has brought a lot of growth. With it's often chaotic times, it has brought peace and learning. If you are a woman, let alone a wife and mom, pastor's wife of the best church in Orange County, NY, school volunteer(when I remember to get there), sports mom, counselor, teacher, hostess, and the list goes on, then you know what I am talkin' about. And when I plop into bed at night(and yes, I do plop...more than you know!) I look back at my day, my week and God speaks to me in a still small voice and shows me areas that I need work in, and people I need to ask forgiveness from and those I need to forgive. He tells me to be a little easier on my boys and don't say "no" so