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Push Me and I'll Push Harder

This week has been a week of intense emotion on many different levels. My husband was hospitalized after a misdiagnosis that could have been almost fatal had we not persisted in getting him to a different hospital. What should have been a minor procedure of removing a sick appendix turned out to be much worse because of the lapsed time between the misdiagnosis and the actual diagnosis. To see my husband, a strong and independent man, healthy and beautiful so drained and sick, made me sad and angry. I could not understand why this was happening, especially to him. During the surgery, I get a call from my mother that my youngest was sick with a fever. I was so torn and could not seem to take it anymore. My insides were a mess and all I wanted to do was scream, run and breakdown. I did cry, and thankfully, I had two really good friends by my side that encouraged me and really helped me along.
My husband ended up staying in the hospital for an entire week, due to the infection and post-op pneumonia. He slept a lot and just being by him made me feel close to him. I went home and took care of my youngest and assessed the situation. Made an appointment  and found out that he was okay, just a bad cold. Back and forth to the hospital, advocating for my husband who was out of it, tending to my family and home was wearing on me. But somehow through it all I seemed to have renewed strength on a daily basis. Just when I thought I would collapse in exhaustion, fear, doubt, and just plain being overwhelmed, God would deposit this supernatural strength and peace in me. Even when around me all was upside down, I knew God was with me and was working on our behalf. And to think that this was only a week. One of the longest weeks of my life. All this to say that not only did God sustain me and my family but I pushed back when the enemy of my life and family was pushing me. Pushing me to the brink of exhaustion and fear. I pushed and pushed telling him that I was not giving in to fear and I was not giving in to exhaustion. I was not giving up and relinquishing control of our lives to him. I was going to fight until the bitter end to sustain my family in prayer and in hope. I knew that if I didn't do it and if I didn't believe,  that my children, friends and family wouldn't believe either. So I pushed harder. The saying that says "You don't know how strong you are until you go through adversity" is very true. I am not going to sit here and say that I didn't have my moments when I felt lonely and scared. That usually happened at night, when I was alone. But I felt God's overwhelming love and Him telling me that I needed to trust Him and be still. I did try, really hard. Some days were better than others.
I am happy to say that my husband is home and healing slowly but surely. My children are healthy and happy that daddy is home. And to see their faces light up and their countenance change did my heart good.
I know that there are many instances in our lives where we will have to push back, push through, push up and God will give you the strength you need for that season, that instance. Don't give up and definitely don't relinquish control to anything or to anyone when it comes to your family, to your sanity, your spiritual walk. God has a plan and purpose through this all. And though we may not see and understand why or what, He has it all under control.
I have learned to treasure my husband and children. To pray hard. To love them and treat them better than anyone else. To be selfless and sacrificing even when it would feel better to sit and put my feet up. I have learned that God has planted within me His strength and that "I can do all things through Him who gives me strength." I really can, because I have God by my side. And if I have God, nothing can beat me down or have victory over me. Let the enemy wave the white flag of surrender because I have given him a run for his money. Let him know that he has a fight coming to him if he tries any of this foolishness again. I tell you to fight and push back. Don't stop and don't quit. You were made for this. You are stronger than you think. You are wiser and God has wired you to be a fighter, a victor...definitely not a victim or a prisoner. Fight on Warrior. Let the enemy of your life run scared when he sees you coming. Prayer, praise and worship, the Bible and friends who are like-minded are your weapons. As soon as you begin to sing to Christ, as soon as you begin to read the Bible out loud, and as soon as he sees you on your knees praying for reinforcements, he is running. Running because he knows that his fight isn't going to last long. He knows that he is no match for Christ and that his power is nothing compared to what Christ can do with His little finger.
So when pushed, what are you going to do? P-U-S-H...that's right, PUSH!!

Comments

  1. Amazing insight thank you for lending your experience, truths and wisdom this is what the church is about this is what God calls us to do and wow Ruthie you are so so amazing.. I love who you are and Im thankful to be a witness to such an amzing and real testimony. Praise and Glory to God!

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  2. That blog was extremely encouraging. Sometimes we forget that you're a mom and wife and have the same issues that a lot of us moms have. We see you as stronger and that nothing can really take you down. But now we can see why you can't be taken down. This gives me even more courage to stand up and fight where my family is concerned. This brings the fighter to the surface. Thank God for you. Your testimony gives a lot of hope. And although I know God takes us through many situations in life, it's nice to hear someone talk about it.

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