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Making My Own Sunshine

The boys are finally back at school and boy were they excited. I, on the other hand was sad and happy all at the same time. Bittersweet. I celebrate with them because they are on an adventure. How exciting and exhilarating to be starting out in life. New beginnings. Bittersweet for those of us, watching. Mommy's and daddy's, cheering their babies on but with their hearts and stomaches in knots because as much as they want them to fly they wish that they could stay little forever.
Life is full of these moments...
Moments that will take your breath away...in a good way.
Moments that will bring tears and cause sleepless nights.
Moments that you are glad you're alive.
And moments when you wonder, "what the heck am I doing here?!"
Moments that will make you want to dance and celebrate.
And moments that you will mourn.
There is a scripture in the Bible in Ecclesiastes that reads that "there is a season for everything under the sun...a time to weep and a time to dance, a time for war and a time for peace, a time to speak and a time to refrain from speaking ( I do try so hard)...."
There is a great song written and sung by Alyssa Bonagura that says,

Everything is wonderful
Everything is great
Free as a bird singing outside my window pane
Got a fresh new start
It's a brand new day
And I got lots of love to give away 
It don't matter if it's raining 
Nothing can phase me 
I make my own sunshine 
And if you think you can break me 
Baby you're crazy 
I make my own sunshine


Now I KNOW that not everything is wonderful and everything is great but I choose to make my own sunshine when things in my life are less than wonderful and less than great. I choose not to allow people or circumstances to break me or cause my sunshine to disappear. That only happens when I give those things or people control over my mood and/or circumstances. I am guilty of doing that every so often but I am quickly reminded to change my mood, my attitude by changing the way I think and approach things in my life. I do become nuts, unglued...but I am learning. I am a work in progress. Still learning to let go and let God. Still cry when dropping my children off at school for the first day of school. I say and do things that I shouldn't say or do. I am learning to have better etiquette and be nicer. A work in progress I am. Not the best Pastor's Wife or wife or mom, but I am trying and God is giving me love and cheering me on. He sees the potential. And He not only sees it in me but He sees it in you. I am so excited about my adventure. On a ride, a journey that only God and I can go on. So glad that my hubster and my boys are on the ride with me but yet experiencing their own adventures. I am blessed. Not perfect but still blessed. Loved by my creator, flaws and all. I know He loves you like that too. Isn't it good to know that truth? I know I'm glad. Elated.

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