I have so much to say and it's all jumbled in my head. Don't you hate when that happens? Often times, my mouth goes before my thoughts and then I get in big trouble. But tonight as I sit here and write I have so much to say and yet I can't seem to put it to "paper."
This year has brought a lot of growth. With it's often chaotic times, it has brought peace and learning. If you are a woman, let alone a wife and mom, pastor's wife of the best church in Orange County, NY, school volunteer(when I remember to get there), sports mom, counselor, teacher, hostess, and the list goes on, then you know what I am talkin' about. And when I plop into bed at night(and yes, I do plop...more than you know!) I look back at my day, my week and God speaks to me in a still small voice and shows me areas that I need work in, and people I need to ask forgiveness from and those I need to forgive. He tells me to be a little easier on my boys and don't say "no" so much. He has shown me that life goes by so fast and that I need to focus less on the little things and more on the big things because these are the things that have eternal value: my husband, my boys, my family and friends, our ministry(it's really God's but He has entrusted us with it)...to love more, forgive more, play and laugh more, exercise more and not to be so quick to speak...that silence really is golden (yeap, still workin' on that one). He has shown me that His word is true and that even though He didn't allow Seth to be with us that He is still good and kind and loving. I need to trust Him more with every area of my life.
My husband and I went to Boston last month and I had to leave my boys for a night. And if any of you know me, that is just something I do not do and hate to do. It was a school night and what were they going to do without me there to get them off to school in the morning, to get their lunches packed and bundled up...I was stressed. I thought I might play sick and all of a sudden come down with a stomach bug or something, just so I could stay home. But I also knew that my husband was counting on me and that another couple was coming with us. After all, it wasn't a couples retreat(it was sort of), it was a spiritual outing(most definitely and so much more too). We were going to support a Pastor and his bride on opening up a new campus of their church in Boston. So we were excited. But underlying that excitement was dread. It really was lack of trust in God-----Ouch! I admitted that and that brought more panic. I finally relinquished, gave in and went. And do you know what happened? Absolutely nothing. My boys were fine, not traumatized in the least...glad that we were home. What did happen on the trip was that we developed a tighter bond with our friends in ministry and we laughed like we haven't in a long time...urinals and all(inside joke).
God has a funny way of drawing us closer to Himself. He has a way of not grabbing us by the ear and scolding us for not trusting, not resting, not believing that He has it all under control. I think this will be a life long lesson for me. I think He will have to remind me on occasion that He is true to His word and that yes, He does have it all under control.
No worries!
Well, I can at least try...
This year has brought a lot of growth. With it's often chaotic times, it has brought peace and learning. If you are a woman, let alone a wife and mom, pastor's wife of the best church in Orange County, NY, school volunteer(when I remember to get there), sports mom, counselor, teacher, hostess, and the list goes on, then you know what I am talkin' about. And when I plop into bed at night(and yes, I do plop...more than you know!) I look back at my day, my week and God speaks to me in a still small voice and shows me areas that I need work in, and people I need to ask forgiveness from and those I need to forgive. He tells me to be a little easier on my boys and don't say "no" so much. He has shown me that life goes by so fast and that I need to focus less on the little things and more on the big things because these are the things that have eternal value: my husband, my boys, my family and friends, our ministry(it's really God's but He has entrusted us with it)...to love more, forgive more, play and laugh more, exercise more and not to be so quick to speak...that silence really is golden (yeap, still workin' on that one). He has shown me that His word is true and that even though He didn't allow Seth to be with us that He is still good and kind and loving. I need to trust Him more with every area of my life.
My husband and I went to Boston last month and I had to leave my boys for a night. And if any of you know me, that is just something I do not do and hate to do. It was a school night and what were they going to do without me there to get them off to school in the morning, to get their lunches packed and bundled up...I was stressed. I thought I might play sick and all of a sudden come down with a stomach bug or something, just so I could stay home. But I also knew that my husband was counting on me and that another couple was coming with us. After all, it wasn't a couples retreat(it was sort of), it was a spiritual outing(most definitely and so much more too). We were going to support a Pastor and his bride on opening up a new campus of their church in Boston. So we were excited. But underlying that excitement was dread. It really was lack of trust in God-----Ouch! I admitted that and that brought more panic. I finally relinquished, gave in and went. And do you know what happened? Absolutely nothing. My boys were fine, not traumatized in the least...glad that we were home. What did happen on the trip was that we developed a tighter bond with our friends in ministry and we laughed like we haven't in a long time...urinals and all(inside joke).
God has a funny way of drawing us closer to Himself. He has a way of not grabbing us by the ear and scolding us for not trusting, not resting, not believing that He has it all under control. I think this will be a life long lesson for me. I think He will have to remind me on occasion that He is true to His word and that yes, He does have it all under control.
No worries!
Well, I can at least try...
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