Ruth Nieves

What an amazing day yesterday was...I was pumped all day! Couldn't wait to get to Transformation and start loving on people. That's how we roll here...LOL. From honoring our Transformer Volunteers, to seeing hundreds of people walk through our door...many if not all burdened (but leaving Transformed). I love being the wife of this passionate pastor who loves his people, and the world, who loves his family and his calling. But last night, of course after such an amazing day, I get news that is not so cool. And my heart starts getting real ugly. My disposition, countenance changes and my family can tell I'm tense and upset. I go to bed this way and get up this way too...not good! So now I'm up way before everyone is up and the hustle and bustle begins. I sit to pray and read something that will challenge me and "slap" me out of this attitude. And so this is what I open up to...Ephesians 5:15-20....we'll focus on verse 20..."always giving thanks to God ...

The thing about new seasons is that they are exciting and well, new. Some seasons are good...but many others are challenging, and down right hard. Yet, I know that in every season God has a plan. Though I can honestly say, that I have no clue as to what He doing in my life or why, half the time...I know that He loves me. There have been seasons where I was on the verge of losing my mind...you know, those seasons where you are right on the edge of reality and wishing you were (mentally, physically, emotionally) not in the moment. When we lost our son, Seth, I was on that edge. I didn't want to feel anything. I wanted to be transported to another planet just so I couldn't feel the pain of our loss. Yet, one day, before the funeral, I find myself so full of rage and pain that I had no way of releasing it except by breaking every piece of glass in my path. Somehow I ended on the floor and I kicked and screamed, my dad and my husband held me down and all I could do was scream and cr...

I have so much to say and it's all jumbled in my head. Don't you hate when that happens? Often times, my mouth goes before my thoughts and then I get in big trouble. But tonight as I sit here and write I have so much to say and yet I can't seem to put it to "paper." This year has brought a lot of growth. With it's often chaotic times, it has brought peace and learning. If you are a woman, let alone a wife and mom, pastor's wife of the best church in Orange County, NY, school volunteer(when I remember to get there), sports mom, counselor, teacher, hostess, and the list goes on, then you know what I am talkin' about. And when I plop into bed at night(and yes, I do plop...more than you know!) I look back at my day, my week and God speaks to me in a still small voice and shows me areas that I need work in, and people I need to ask forgiveness from and those I need to forgive. He tells me to be a little easier on my boys and don't say "no" so...