I can exhale now...I feel as if a weight has been lifted and I can breathe! It feels so good. I've been running uphill for three weeks now and I have finally reached the top, the peak and I can finally, breathe...wow, what an amazing feeling! I read somewhere that life comes in waves...peaks and valleys. One minute you are soaring and the next you are gasping for air. I know that things might change tomorrow. I am not naive. But I will enjoy this moment. I will enjoy the freedom it brings...the freedom to laugh and sleep. When you are in the valley and finally reach your peak, all of the little things that used to bother you don't anymore. They don't matter. You see things differently. You laugh differently.You see your spouse differently, your children. The day is brighter. I have come to understand that the same God that is with me when I reach the top, the peak, is the same God that is with me in my valley experiences. I have learned that I am not alone when I feel alone. And I have learned that He is my strength when I have none. These are things I wouldn't discover during my peak moments. Everything is wonderful right now and the way I need God now is not the way I needed Him two weeks ago. He is all things to me. When I needed Him two weeks ago, He was my strength, my peace, my comfort. He was my sustenance, my companion. He understood. Without His love and grace, I would not have fared too well. He surrounded me with an amazing group of women who held my arms up when I couldn't. People prayed and sustained us with meals, prayers and encouragement. He did all of this for me and my family. Right now, He is my quiet place, my rest. He is the calm after a storm. He is all things to me. Who knows what tomorrow will bring, I pray that it will be another day like today. But it will probably have it's challenges, Mondays always do. God will be there, guiding and sustaining me and mine. I know that I can trust Him to take care of my needs, my heart and that no matter He will be there with me and for me. Why worry? ( I will try not to..I'm still working on that)...
I have so much to say and it's all jumbled in my head. Don't you hate when that happens? Often times, my mouth goes before my thoughts and then I get in big trouble. But tonight as I sit here and write I have so much to say and yet I can't seem to put it to "paper." This year has brought a lot of growth. With it's often chaotic times, it has brought peace and learning. If you are a woman, let alone a wife and mom, pastor's wife of the best church in Orange County, NY, school volunteer(when I remember to get there), sports mom, counselor, teacher, hostess, and the list goes on, then you know what I am talkin' about. And when I plop into bed at night(and yes, I do plop...more than you know!) I look back at my day, my week and God speaks to me in a still small voice and shows me areas that I need work in, and people I need to ask forgiveness from and those I need to forgive. He tells me to be a little easier on my boys and don't say "no" so...
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