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The War is On...

All I can say is that Sunday was a very difficult day for me...I just could not get into the realm of the praise. My body was in the House but my heart was not there. I kept asking myself, "what is wrong with you, Ruth?" "What's going on?" I couldn't shake it as much as I tried to sing and listen to the amazing words that were being spoken...truths that should have made me leap off of my feet. At one point I began to think way back on things that had been said about me and things that had been done and I became angry, all during the powerful time of praise. Can you believe it? The enemy had latched himself to me and would not get off. I knew right then and there that I was at war! At war with the spiritual realm. At war with the enemy of my joy and soul. I sat there stunned and fighting.
And all week, I have felt such a heaviness. A sort of despair, that I have not been able to shake. Praying to God continuously has kept me sane. Knowing that this is a season that I need to go through and that there is a lesson to be learned. That I need to hang in there and pray this one through. This one is going to take some serious fasting and praying. It's going to be me and God on this one.
It isn't scary or frustrating. It's just a time of learning. When God wants to do something in your life, He will bring you to a place of surrender. He will bring you to a place where your dependence is not on yourself or on your resources, but that your dependence is solely on Him. I know that He wants to bring me to another level. He has been speaking that to me. But in order for that to happen there has to be a battle...for this time and season, this is the way.
Ironically, (listen to me, am I not dealing with an awesome God?) someone came into the office and asked if I was all right on Sunday. That she knew that something was going on and that she was interceding on our behalf(my husband and I). I told her what was going on and she said she knew it. She began to speak words that refreshed my soul, that reminded me that I was not in this battle alone. One thing to remember, when you are in your battle, God always has a remnant of people, praying! He will lay you on the hearts of His children and there will be intercession. You will wonder one day how it is that you made it through...the prayers of His people for you. You are never alone in your battle. There is always someone wielding that sword on your behalf as you wield yours. There is a battle in the spiritual realm for you, for your mind, for your peace, for your children, for your family...but don't think for a second that you are alone in your fight. On the contrary, there is a "heavenly host", angels, that God has sent to fight for you. So not only do you have people here on earth who will fight for you, there are also angels that God has appointed to you to help you in your fight! Isn't God amazing?
So, I am not discouraged or dismayed. I am not angry or upset. I know that God is in control and that He has a purpose in all of this. I will fight and wield my sword...He will give me the strength to fight and to be strategic...use His word(the Bible) and songs of praise to defeat the enemy. And defeat him I will.
In the book of Job, God tested Job. He allowed certain things to happen to see how strong his faith was...and Job suffered...a lot....but in all of it Job finally said..."But He knows the way that I take, when He has tested me, I will come forth as gold." Job 23:10...

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